They, "The Onion", are a little gross sometimes but, Hey, that's the way of the world at this point.... but sometimes things are just fun.. Like the following....
Aside from the latest on Mark Zuckerberg preparing for the upcoming Congressional Hearings by pouring over Law Makers' personal data, there is this:
"NEWS IN BRIEF (Here's the LINK)
Handwriting Expert Confirms Killer Used Cursive
Today 11:19amSEE MORE: CRIME
BALTIMORE—Concluding that the murderer left evidence containing a distinctive style of penmanship, police handwriting expert Elizabeth Simeon, 29, confirmed that an inscribed piece of paper found at the scene of a homicide Sunday morning was almost certainly a note written in cursive.
“By the looks of these long, looping, interconnected shapes, which are arranged in regular proximity to one another but leave space between what I believe to be words, I’m willing bet that whoever killed this man meant for us to find this—a note, written in hand-drawn ‘cursive’ script,” said Simeon, staking her 25 years of experience in reading things on the theory that the killer had not just scribbled random lines on a sheet of paper.
“See here, how this weird shape almost looks like an ‘F’ from a certain angle? I believe it is, in fact, an F—that’s the sort of thing we might expect from someone using cursive. In fact, it wouldn’t surprise me if this individual had some sort of formal training.”
Simeon requested the services of an FBI specialist in order to decipher the note, but has, in the meantime, conducted a chemical analysis of the ink splatter and claims to be 99 percent certain the killer’s implement of choice was, in fact, a pen."
Yes, I'm a bit shameless. Not as bad as a Toupeé wielding narcissist who thinks he was elected king, but yes, a little shameless....
Aside from the latest on Mark Zuckerberg preparing for the upcoming Congressional Hearings by pouring over Law Makers' personal data, there is this:
"NEWS IN BRIEF (Here's the LINK)
Handwriting Expert Confirms Killer Used Cursive
Today 11:19amSEE MORE: CRIME
BALTIMORE—Concluding that the murderer left evidence containing a distinctive style of penmanship, police handwriting expert Elizabeth Simeon, 29, confirmed that an inscribed piece of paper found at the scene of a homicide Sunday morning was almost certainly a note written in cursive.
“By the looks of these long, looping, interconnected shapes, which are arranged in regular proximity to one another but leave space between what I believe to be words, I’m willing bet that whoever killed this man meant for us to find this—a note, written in hand-drawn ‘cursive’ script,” said Simeon, staking her 25 years of experience in reading things on the theory that the killer had not just scribbled random lines on a sheet of paper.
“See here, how this weird shape almost looks like an ‘F’ from a certain angle? I believe it is, in fact, an F—that’s the sort of thing we might expect from someone using cursive. In fact, it wouldn’t surprise me if this individual had some sort of formal training.”
Simeon requested the services of an FBI specialist in order to decipher the note, but has, in the meantime, conducted a chemical analysis of the ink splatter and claims to be 99 percent certain the killer’s implement of choice was, in fact, a pen."
Yes, I'm a bit shameless. Not as bad as a Toupeé wielding narcissist who thinks he was elected king, but yes, a little shameless....
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I’m going through some stuff but I will peek in now and then and will be back when it’s over..