~~ "It's All Life, until it's Over" ~~
Kilgore Trout

~~ " In the absence of justice, what is sovereignty but organized robbery?”" ~~
Saint Augustine

~~ “Nobody would do anything if they knew what they were in for.” ~~
"Amarante", in "Milagro Beanfield War"

~~ "May you Walk with Beauty All Around You" ~~
Navajo Blessing

Monday, December 10, 2012

From Judy out there in the back of beyond.

Not quite!  hehe

Since I went to fitness this morning and then came home and mixed cookie dough batches to freeze until a few days before Christmas, this was a very timely set of rules for dealing with Christmas Cookies!  Thank you Judy!

Christmas Cookie Rules

1. If you eat a Christmas cookie fresh out of the oven, it has no calories because everyone knows that the first cookie is the test and thus calorie free.

2. If you drink a diet soda after eating your second cookie, it also has no calories because the diet soda cancels out the cookie calories.

3. If a friend comes over while you're making your Christmas cookies and needs to sample, you must sample with your friend. Because your friend's first cookie is calories free,(rule #1) yours is also. It would be rude to let your friend sample alone and, being the friend that you are, that makes your cookie calorie free.

4. Any cookie calories consumed while walking around will fall to your feet and eventually fall off as you move. This is due to gravity and the density of the caloric mass.

5. Any calories consumed during the frosting of the Christmas cookies will be used up because it takes many calories to lick excess frosting from a knife without cutting your tongue. 

6. Cookies colored red or green have very few calories.  Red ones have three and green ones have five - one calorie for each letter.  Make more red ones!

7. Cookies eaten while watching "Miracle on 34th Street" have no calories because they are part of the entertainment package and not part of one's personal fuel.

8. As always, cookie pieces contain no calories because the process of breaking Causes calorie leakage.

9. Any cookies consumed from someone else's plate have no calories since the calories Rightfully belong to the other person and will cling to their plate.

We all know how calories like to CLING!

10. Any cookies consumed while feeling stressed have no calories because cookies used for medicinal purposes NEVER have calories. It's a rule!

So, go out and enjoy those Christmas Cookies - we only get them this this time of year!

I have still not found my tools. Yesterday, after covering the same ground for the fifteenth time {!!!!} I did one of those very Freudian Freakouts for the Victorian set, Screaming on the inside like a Banchee, until I nearly fainted.  I was saved by some smelling salts dark chocolate that DH advised me to eat.   He also brought me a nice cup of tea.  Maybe I should abandon the plans to make danglie bits of rockie "this and thats", and just do some knitting?




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