~~ "It's All Life, until it's Over" ~~
Kilgore Trout

~~ " In the absence of justice, what is sovereignty but organized robbery?”" ~~
Saint Augustine

~~ “Nobody would do anything if they knew what they were in for.” ~~
"Amarante", in "Milagro Beanfield War"

~~ "May you Walk with Beauty All Around You" ~~
Navajo Blessing

Saturday, December 15, 2012

Ice Crystal clouds before the Last Storm
Very High,
Very Ethereal
Today I made cookie dough and froze it, played a LOT of Spider and Free Cell.  Did 24 minutes of Tennis on the Wii, and tried not to eat all the chocolate in the house.  Today, on my mother's birthday, I was going to post about her and the sweet little ways she had about her, though she wasn't a demonstrative person, and she wasn't a hugger.  She taught my children to value ALL life, and she also taught them about gardening, weeds, the importance of lace wings, just so many, many things. 

Many times in the past, I've typed out and meant to share something, but have felt too exposed by my writings.   My heart is with all those who suffered such a terrible blow in both the mall shooting and the school shooting. 

I worked at a school that was attacked.  I remember January 1979 and how much it hurt to lose two valued human beings I worked with.  I remember how controlling I got from that time forward, trying to control everything my kids did and everywhere they went.

Before that time I was the happiest person alive, and had very good reasons for it.  After the shooting I felt exposed and vulnerable, and cried myself to sleep for weeks.  Now, looking back, I feel like my life's purpose was partially fulfilled on the day I expected to die.  You can try to, but you can never forget the sounds, the sorrow, the screaming,  nor can you change memories and get back to your happy life.  It changes you forever.   Our street was filled with news vans and reporters.  All the kids stayed in lock down inside the school for hours and hours.   

So, remember to be extra kind to the survivors, especially for the children, because they may well have a maelstrom going on in their heads and hearts for the rest of their lives, and are trying to cope as well as they can.  They cope until something like this happens yet AGAIN!  You just have to look at the haunted faces of people who have survived civilian attacks anywhere in the world to know that it's a horrible thing to go through.

I wish you safety in your daily lives and Peace throughout.


  1. The news from the USA broke my heart this morning (I live in Australia), and I agree with you. Survivors of horrible things carry it with them every day, sometimes on the outside, but more often in ways we cannot see. My heart goes out to the children, the teachers, and those devastated families. We have started to see pictures of those who died, and tributes to people who sacrificed themselves to protect others. It makes hard reading, how much worse it is to be part of it all. My thoughts are with everyone who grieves.

  2. Thank you, Chat Noir, for your words and kindness for American, indeed all families at this time. I cannot watch or read anything about it for obvious reasons.


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